Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Who knows how to shower like a woman?

take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to whites and coloreds



walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown. if you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, you cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom



look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out you gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you��re getting fat



get in the show. look for facecloth, arm cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone



wash your hair once with cucumber shampoo with 83 added vitamins



wash your hair once with cucumber shampoo with 83 added vitamins



condition your hair with cucumber conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. leave on hair for 15 minutes



wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw



wash entire rest of body with gingernut body wash



rinse conditioner from hair. (this takes at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off)



shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead



scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure



turn off shower



squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots



get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel



check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit



attack with nails if found



return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head



if you see your boyfriend/husband along the way,cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend at least an hour and a half getting dressed

Who knows how to shower like a woman?
not funny mahn.. it seriously sux pathetically
Reply:dont be a hateful person get a sense of humor Report It
Reply:And you know this how?
Reply:-_-
Reply:nobody really showers like that, just put on shampoo,wash it, put in conditioner,wash, and maybe shave
Reply:That is sooo me! Except I have neither a husband nor boyfriend. And I don't do that ALL the time.
Reply:lol. cute but that is not how most women take a shower.
Reply:LOL. Yep. LOL.
Reply:alright
Reply:haha but this is kinda old a lot of people have told this same with the how to shower like a man ?
Reply:and yu know this ... howw??
Reply:z_z
Reply:LOL every chick I EVER knew, except 1, did it just this way! That 1 ain't around anymore! %26lt;sigh%26gt;



http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblu...
Reply:pretty clever cause 9 outta 10 do that! i can agree with more then half! lol!
Reply:you have way too much time on your hands!!
Reply:Heard it before but you are missing the second part about the man's shower.


Who knows how to shower like a woman?

take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to whites and coloreds



walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown. if you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, you cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom



look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out you gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you��re getting fat



get in the show. look for facecloth, arm cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone



wash your hair once with cucumber shampoo with 83 added vitamins



wash your hair once with cucumber shampoo with 83 added vitamins



condition your hair with cucumber conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. leave on hair for 15 minutes



wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw



wash entire rest of body with gingernut body wash



rinse conditioner from hair. (this takes at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off)



shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead



scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure



turn off shower



squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots



get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel



check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit



attack with nails if found



return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head



if you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend at least an hour and a half getting dressed

Who knows how to shower like a woman?
And where does one buy gingernut body wash? Sounds heavenly.....



Am I allowed to flash said husband/boyfriend instead of cover up? And getting dressed for an hour and a half? Lounging nekked on the bed for half an hour sounds better to me!



Shower like a Man.



Get in.



Shampoo hair on head.



Wash body parts with soap.



Get distracted and jerk off.



Finish washing.



Condition hair everywhere.



Use ALL hot water in shortest time possible.



Get out.



Shave.



Leave bathroom in a horrid mess. The little woman will clean it up anyway.
Reply:if i had seen fcastened she would have gotten it but unfortunatly i didnt which sucks becasue i was going to give her the 10 points Report It
Reply:We don't do it like that in Ireland. We just leave them on the floor till we are done, Then stick em in the washing machine
Reply:Its true.
Reply:thats so funny, its so true
Reply:and.....
Reply:I don't know how to respond, as this didn't really sound like a question. But I'd like to respond to fcastened. You are sooo close to being right on the money with your views on how a man showers. You must have a hidden cam in some guys shower. I had a good chuckle over this one. Thanks!
Reply:LMFAO....too funny!!!!

Yes that's what we do and fukc you stupid men who know we are in the shower and you flush anyway!!
Reply:HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN...

--------------------------------------...





Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in apile.



Walk naked to the bathroom.



If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.



Look at your manly physique in the mirror.



Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your @$$.



Get in the shower.



Wash your face.



Wash your armpits.



Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.



Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.



Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.



Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.



Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.



Pee.



Rinse off and get out of shower.



Partially dry off.



Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub thewhole time.



Admire wiener size in mirror again.



Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.



Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.



Throw wet towel on bed.



If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day !







Oh, and....woo woo!!!
Reply:wat crap. haha
Reply:does ur mum do it tooo
Reply:Ha ha. That was funny.
Reply:fcastenedas's has it down pat! just hilarious
Reply:you forgot the part where she takes 10 minutes to ponder how shes gonna make ur life living hell today
Reply:My response to your question is, probably another woman.



Have a great day!
Reply:Wow, aren't we just a tad resentful... but it's true. lol.
Reply:and your point is??

Chemicals

How to Shower Woman/men's versions?

Willys cynical thought for the day;



A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in freaking silence!



Okay shower's are something we all do. But have you ever wondered why the differences in how we perform this act have more to do with our gender than our educational background, the amount of money we have, our religion or lack of, and our Ethnic background? Here I'm talking straight people, gays are in world of their own;. Now girlies don't email me saying, "I haven't used cucumber shampoo since 1995." And guys same thing about shower Mohawks!



How to Shower Like a Woman



1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.



2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you happen to see boyfriend/husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.



3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out stomach so as to complain about how fat you're getting.



4. Turn on hot water only.



5. Get in the shower -- once you've found it through all the steam.



6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.



7. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lemon shampoo with 83 added vitamins.



8. Rinse hair.



9. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lemon conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.



10. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red and raw.



11. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.



12. Complain bitterly when you realize that your boyfriend/husband has once again been EATING your Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.



13. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that all the conditioner has come off).



14. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be bothered.



15. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you get a rush of cold water.



16. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.



17. Dry, your body, with a towel the size of a small African country.



18. Use a hair-dryer and brush and comb carefully.



How to Shower Like a Man



1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.



2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her.



3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No.)



4. Turn on the water.



5. Check for pecs again. (Still No.)



6. Get in the shower.



7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)



8. Wash your face.



9. Wash your armpits.



10. Wash your penis and surrounding area.



11. Wash your asz.



12. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.



13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.



14. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.



15. Piss, in the shower.



16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.



17. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your girlfriend/wife, flash her.



http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblu...

How to Shower Woman/men's versions?
Excelent. Especially the flashing part (i always do that to my wife), and the turban jokes. You missed farting and burping in the shower (the echo works great in closed showers, thus amplifying the sounds).
Reply:That was definately funny, I liked the 'flash her' part especially ;)
Reply:nice one
Reply:LOL. LOL.
Reply:lol awesome! lol check ya later ?
Reply:That's really cool. And apt. :)
Reply:funny :)
Reply:what are pecs?
Reply:good one
Reply:that is so funny, I love your jokes...


I'm trying to find some photos of pubs before 1970 in the meadows, nottingham.?

i know that most places were pulled down, the pubs used to be near the royal ordanance factory, one was called the Magnacarta,and the other one was the crocus inn on the corner of Pegg terrace

I'm trying to find some photos of pubs before 1970 in the meadows, nottingham.?
Try going down to the main library in town me duck.

from an ex meadows lad (masons slaughter house worker)

now living in Germany
Reply:try ask.com
Reply:Have look in the "local history" section of your nearest book shop or library.


New Homeowner needs yard advice?

I just bought my first house this past August. This is the first spring I need to do yard work. The previous owners planted a lot of beautiful crocus, dafodyils, tulips, etc. Now those flowers are gone, and the green stalks remain. What do I do now? I do not want to kill them but want them to come back next spring. Please help! Thanks!

New Homeowner needs yard advice?
Those plants are called perennials...which means they will come back in the Spring of every year, if you leave the leaves alone.
Reply:If the green stalks are there, just leave them be. By next spring they will be blooming again, or possibly can still bloom this spring! My point is, just weed around them and let them be.
Reply:You can buy some quality fertilizer %26amp; give them some now, and again in late Fall; before frost sets in. That's when bulbs store up for Spring bloom. When Spring comes, take good stock of colors %26amp; what you've got. Have fun in your new yard!
Reply:Leave the green stalks alone until they turn yellow then cut them off at the dirt level. Your crocus, daffodils and tulips are storing energy for next spring right now (as green stalks).
Reply:next spring just water them and they should come back if not there's something wrong! It's probably gunna be the soil or they are not ment to come back, and if that's the case you should get some that do so you don't have to replant flowers every spring! It would get really, really annoying.
Reply:ask your plants:

i want to help you bloom again, what should I do?

be prepared for them to maybe say "nothing"



(don't mention the word "kill" to any plant; plants are without an understanding of the concept of "not")


Have you ever heard of these herbal ingredients?

crocus sativus l. , cordyceps sinensis, snow saussurea, tibetan yarks testicle, hippocampi what do they use these for ? what is it good for ? are there any dangers in useing them ?

Have you ever heard of these herbal ingredients?
What is a Tibetan Yark and do they have testicles?



crocus sativus l. is saffron, fairly safe,

cordyceps sinensis is a chinese herb, referred to as caterpillar fungus?? This is known to supress the human imune system useful in transplants.

snow saussurea is tibetan, a lotus flower seems safe, used for arthritis among other uses.



hippocampi is a part of the brain. Not exactly herbal is it?

tibetan yaks testicle I think that you meant. Used in Asian medicine, but again not entirely herbal.



The herbal parts seem fine to use, but I would question the use af any brain or testicular matter ever. These are not herbs, they are animal.
Reply:You forgot the eye of newt and lark's tongue.

Sounds like a recipe for Love Potion #8.

miriam

Apoem for a never ending winter. How is is this?

"fnally spring"





Winter wont leave me alone,

I disappeaed anf returned with

a vengence..

May 12th snow flakes

torturing my knees..

Spring had sprung all around,

then her mood shanged

like a spurned women.Old man winters ovrstayed his welcome and its time for him to die once again.

spring only comesonce a year,

but wipe out all fear,

Crocus, Liliies,, all sublime,

I felel love this time.

Apoem for a never ending winter. How is is this?
This is the best part:



"Spring had sprung all around,

then her mood shanged

like a spurned women."



This is the worst:

Old man winters ovrstayed his welcome and its time for him to die once again.

spring only comesonce a year,



Don't mention Old Man Winter, please.... it's a trope that need never be alluded to again. Think of a different metaphor for winter... "spurned woman" is EXCELLENT for spring reverting!



"snow flakes torturing my knees" HOW did they torture your knees? When I think of snow flakes I think of little cold pin pricks, a chinese water variety of torture or something. Convey what you mean specifically.



"returned with a vengeance" -- Die Hard. This is lazy writing.



But I love the part about spring, and I think the ending is a nice twist. Work on this and post again...
Reply:In the cold dreary winter , eagerly waiting for spring; only when it appears briefly winter overtakes it once again. Springs comes and this time flowers and warmth brings love. So gratifying .
Reply:Very unique poem for spring. Great lovely,beautiful and lively like lillies....i love flowers and lillies best.U R POET OF ALL THE TIMES.
Reply:lots of literary devices..very good :D